We learned something new about flowers today at Footsteps in Eden Reflexology. The daffodil is a symbol of dignity and self-respect. Of course, it pushes through some pretty adverse conditions to hold itself tall, stately, and graceful to the world. They bring a smile to our faces even in the bleak mid-winter gloom.
The challenge to consider the significance of self-respect over self-esteem was recently presented to our clients. How does self-respect contribute to our “wellth” and our health? How does the lack of it harm us?
It’s often so easy to encourage and validate others when they are feeling discouraged, but then withhold it from ourselves. When the words of others are discouraging, too, the effect may be doubled or tripled.
While I have a great distaste for the words “I deserve”, there are a few things we should be able to expect in life. We should be able to expect to be able to be ourselves (if that’s not a person who is hurtful to ourselves or others). We should be able to change our minds or say “no” to something. That something might even be a “good” thing, but we should be able to make the choice without feeling guilt. Sometimes others do or say mean or dishonest things that make us angry or even wound us or someone we love. It’s okay to be angry, but also for our own health, necessary to keep short accounts. Forgiveness is indeed golden.
Problems arise when we don’t have enough respect for ourselves to make the best choices or to look at our own short comings as learning experiences — at times, perhaps, even laughing in spite of the circumstances. We get buried in a sea of anger, hatred, anxiety, fear, prejudice, and the list goes on. These along with a false sense of pride may create a smoke screen for covering our lack of self-respect, and that is really what self-esteem is all about as it plays the game of feeling superior. Let’s choose self-respect.
When we do show ourselves love and self-respect we will see ourselves as the unique individuals we are created to be, and we’ll be able to show respect to others as well. The competition is squelched. We’ll like ourselves better, and treat ourselves better, too. We’ll show the grace and beauty of the daffodil.
